DELHI DIARIES

It  went like a breeze of wind not waiting for me to catch on , now that it has already gone , it is mourned and will be for some time to come. As it is said  “ no knowledge without college”  , true to its core , it has been a learning curve , brought out my true self ,unshackled  the free soul within. apart from the five senses that we generally have , a new sense of freedom is also palpable , freedom to choose my own destiny  .my college days were usually marked by self indulgence  and self deprivation seldom  blending with the crowd. The invisibility in those 3 and a half years of cloaked existence is finally visible In the selfies  and group photos on fb. It’s a great risk not having any memories , any trapped moments or any final goodbyes ,  in a way puts u in a different category  but the risk was necessary  to maintain the status quo . overriding  an impulse to let loose  calls for an unyielding control which took years to blossom .now that everything is gone (may be forever)  , there is a great disbelief inside, a pandemonium in the making, which will subside eventually but not without teaching a worthy lesson . it takes some time to recover from a sudden stroke of reality however strong u are , pulling u back on ground with a force severe than most , bringing u back into the real world.   Now the only wish is to get lost in the unending  transitions  of pause and play, start and stop ,and likewise, in a city swarmed by  the multitude, which easily takes u in but makes u struggle for every bit of happiness .  I know that once this initial euphoria around the place would die down , it will be hard to sustain . in a trade-off  , for absorbing me inside, the city and I  have  a tacit covenant   which requires me to expose myself, no more self indulgence , no more air of mystery around  , just following  whatever the mighty heart commands  . this pursuit of self discovery does strikes the right chords  though it remains to be seen how far I m willing to give away what I have to get things that I really want . though the results are scant and not  reassuring , like numerous other  undertakings , the only way to snatch a few moments worth living is by diving into the inner cesspool and clearing all the mess that has been accumulated off late , pummelling my nemesis to its knees .