i had a dream last night in which i was being pulled apart from different sides with such insensitivity that at times it threatened to rip me apart . now the reason for that nightmare could be a few so let me just cut to the chase .couple of months ago everything was hunky dory as i was a man with a plan . a plan based on my needs , having all the ingredients to make it an ideal one, like many aspiring individuals , where money , fame etc forms the bedrock of future endeavours , where everything was taken care of , apart from one small but indispensable thing , which i only realised after weeks of self evaluation and thorough overhaul of the so called ideal plan. only part that was missing was the spirit ! or soul ! or whatever you call it! i was contend that atleast i have a plan in mind at a time when most didnt , but now it feels as if i m just another fake, like thousands , infact i have cheated myself brazzenly . life, literally out of my command, is making terrible headways . it feels as if somebody else is taking decisions for me . the whole situation , whatever it has turned into , has caught me off guard n is posing a serious question, whether i m ready, to make those necessary sacrifices to follow my dreams or should i be just another guy in the crowd n become the great indian follower . have i lost the ability to create something on my own or i m totally subdued by my own prejudice . will i be able to live my dream? didnt i want to make it large? is it too late to start afresh.. inspite of these sporadic nauseating grips , every now and then there is a realisation, a belief that it's all just a bad dream , that i m gonna pull myself upright , feel the strength in my legs and would run wild! wild! , deep in to somewhere spectacular , n never look back again ... ever
